I hope you like a few Ted Lasso quotes!

It’s been three years since I started writing consistently as a hobby. From copying lyrics from a song to my notebook in Junior High (please don’t ask me what song it was), to writing my own game reviews on GameSpot. I’ve always had a passion for writing. However, I had taken a break for many years, until the end of 2022, when I decided to start writing again and have continued doing so for three years now.

Therapy, Journaling, and Self-Doubt

Before I started writing again, I decided it was best to reach out and speak with a therapist to have a professional, non-biased opinion to keep me in check. Mentally, I felt fine; I thought of it as a good way to let anything out, and I sure have done that during my appointments. My reaching out was about discussing hobbies I wanted to explore and how I was feeling at my job at the time. It’s worth a try to reach out to a therapist, even if you feel okay; I still recommend at least one session.

During my first session, I expressed interest in writing again. I discussed how I missed the fun in writing and wanted to take it more seriously, hoping it might lead me down a path where I could do this for more than just fun (which has been fine for me so far). However, I was also struggling with self-doubt and feeling that I wasn’t good enough. My therapist, however, reassured me that everyone has to start somewhere, and it takes practice. So that’s what they recommended for me.

For my “practice”, I was to write every day for fifteen minutes, enough for me to get myself comfortable with sitting down and writing some words. It didn’t matter what I was writing, as long as for those fifteen minutes, I was writing at least something. At the time, I wasn’t really aware of it, but I was doing a Pomodoro timer exercise, a staple for staying focused and getting work done.

You don’t have to write anything particular; I know I didn’t. I wrote how I was feeling, how my day was, or whatever was on my mind that I wanted to talk about—a digital journal. Right after the first time I wrote for fifteen minutes, I felt exhilarated and accomplished—I couldn’t wait until the next day so that I could write again.

Morning Pages

Now, in Christmas of 2022, my wife gifted me The Artist’s Way, by Julia Cameron. It was there that I was introduced to the “Morning Pages.” 

For those unfamiliar with Morning Pages, it is a practice that helps get your creative mind out and let go of any judgment you may have about yourself. When you first wake up, before you go about your day, Julia Cameron suggests you go ahead and do three pages of unfiltered and unorganized writing, allowing your early morning creativity to come out onto the paper. Doesn’t matter what you write; the Morning Pages is a judgment-free way for you to feel comfortable in your writing.

In The Artist’s Way, Julia sets the Morning Pages to last for eight weeks, which would last the remainder of her book, so it goes hand-in-hand. I have given it a try, but wasn’t able to complete the full eight weeks, even with modifying my Morning Pages. Lately, I’ve been wanting to start the Morning Pages back up again. I have a few journals lying around. I was thinking of using them to fill in the three pages (or fewer, as I mentioned above).

You don’t have to write three pages for your Morning Pages—you can modify them with what works best for you. For me, thirty minutes of writing was enough to consider my day’s Morning Pages complete, and something like that can work for you, or a word count limit (500 words, for example). The point is to become comfortable with writing, even with the sleepers in your eyes.

I’m glad that I gave the morning pages a try, though. It sparked my creativity and kept me writing every morning, and I continue to do so to this day. Unfortunately, it did not kick out my self-doubt—that stuck around.

The biggest struggle I faced as a beginner writer was the fear of not being good enough. The Impostor Syndrome that riddled my mind with self-doubt. Fortunately, those negative thoughts in my mind did not stop me from writing. It did, however, fill my head with comparisons to other writers out there, and fill it with envy, while downplaying myself.

Overcoming my self-doubt (Impostor Syndrome never goes away; you have to remind yourself that you’re there for a reason) took a lot of time, patience, and practice. I would force myself to write, even when the thoughts in my head were telling me that I wasn’t going to be good enough, that I wasn’t going to be the next {insert best-selling author’s name}, so I should give up. But I kept writing, no matter what, and eventually, those negative thoughts started to fade away, until they were just about gone. Sure, I will never be those authors that I have compared myself to, because at the end of the day, I’m me, and that’s all that matters.

Getting Out of My Own Way

What snapped my self-doubt, besides writing until I no longer hated my writing, was having a fantastic support system from my wife. She was someone who surprised me one morning in the kitchen when she had read one of my stories and gave me encouragement. She would also be honest with me and snap me into reality when I annoyed her with my pessimistic attitude. Talk about the patience she had for me back then.

In the early days of writing, I’d often tell my wife how I wasn’t good enough to be a writer. She would comfort me and reassure me that I was just getting started and that I would get better as I kept on practicing. She would do this again and again until one day, she just had about enough of it. I went on with my “woe is me” rant about being a writer and not being good enough, and her response was nothing. She couldn’t help me anymore, because it was only me who was getting in my own way here. The constant negativity toward myself was exhausting her, so she left me with the choice to either accept that I was a writer or continue on this downward path until I eventually convinced myself to stop trying to be one.

That confrontation, while it felt like a slap to the face, accepted the harsh feedback and began to view myself as a writer. I learned to accept myself, that I was starting off and just a beginner, but I accepted that I was a writer. I haven’t looked back since the last time I doubted myself, and I don’t plan on it. You need those times where a metaphorical slap to the face puts you onto the right path. For me, it led me to acceptance and self-love with my writing.

First Year

A year into writing, I decided that it was time to give fiction writing a shot. Before that, though, I was only writing in my daily journal, doing Morning Pages, and posting blog entries. I felt intimidated by the idea of writing something fictional. While I do have a very imaginative mind, putting it down into words felt like going into the deep end of the pool. But I dove in, and as you can see from my previous posts, I have many stories to tell!

My first year was also the opportunity to join the Greater Lehigh Valley Writers Group, also known as GLVWG (pronounced “Gliv-wig”). GLVWG was a membership group with an annual fee that offered benefits such as discounts for their writers’ conference, free entry to their monthly workshops, and many more.

With the discount for their upcoming writers conference, I made my appearance at my first-ever event as someone ready to learn. For three days, I took in as much as I could from all the speakers they had present, including the keynote speaker and former GLVWG member, Jonathan Maberry. It was a very informative three days, and I was mentally drained on the last day. I learned about the Pomodoro timer technique, the impact of a social media presence, and much more!

Would I attend another writers’ conference? Absolutely! I had a blast!

It’s been almost two years since my first writers’ conference. I couldn’t go last year because of the timing and money. Timing was the same reason why I decided not to renew my membership with GLVWG. Their monthly meetings and weekly get-togethers fell on times when I couldn’t attend, so I wasn’t getting the most out of the membership. I was bummed with that decision, but that may all change in the upcoming years, as I did enjoy my time with the group.

Year 2, A Short Summary

Now, two years into writing, I started to gain the confidence to submit my stories, hoping one of them would get published. With the support of my wife, she would always tell me how she couldn’t wait until the day she got to hold a book in her hand that had my work in it, whether it was a novel or a story inside an anthology. I can feel it coming soon enough!

Year two was also when I started to expand my visibility and create social media accounts as avenues to share my work. Within a year of this post, I have created four new social media accounts (in order of creation): Mastodon, Substack, X (formerly Twitter), and BlueSky. It’s a lot to handle, so I’d appreciate any suggestions for a central app that handles all of them at once.

And Finally

I’m still writing every day, and we’re finally at year three. What do I have in store for myself and for you readers? To answer that, I want year three to be the year of consistency; less jumping at the new shiny idea (new novel, open calls, etc.) and focus on publishing more stories on my platforms. That’s where I need to start; maybe it’s the right way to go about building anything, instead of leaving things half-baked. Won’t know until I try!